Although my child is not trying to rip it’s way out through my bellybutton, I am feeling a bit Bella-ish this early Tuesday morn, as I sit in my living room, warmed by the glow of my stunningly beautiful (if I do say so myself!) Christmas tree, sipping on my new favorite pregnancy concoction (plain ol’ hot water with lemon and honey), munching plain Cheerios, and pondering the next four weeks.
Yup, it’s another vampire night for me, and this time I even have a Tylenol PM swimming in my tummy.
So much for that.
(Oh, and just so you know: No, I have not yet seen the latest Twilight movie, and although I moderately enjoyed the novels, I am not as die-hard of fan as I may seem in my blogging references. It’s just that I don’t have a terrible interest in vampires as it is, and have little knowledge of them outside of the currently popular Twilight series mixed with a little Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the prematurely canceled Angel. I was definitely an Angel fan. Oh, and lets not forget Interview with a Vampire, in which Kirsten Dunst successfully creeped me out.)
Moving on!…because I am such a rambler at 4:00 in the morning…
As you can probably imagine, blogging consistently right now has become a challenge for me. Life is busy, times are moving fast, days are filled to the brim, and so is my tummy. I can’t believe that I only have about three weeks left of this pregnancy!
Or maybe even less!
Tim and I are so ready to meet baby Cole. We can’t wait to look into his little face and know exactly what it feels like to have your heart severed into two complete wholes. Confusing yes, but accurate. It’s so hard to imagine loving any baby as much as we love Jack, but I know it is possible, and I can’t wait to experience that.
Today (or yesterday now?…), I read this article written by Tom Davis, the president of Children’s HopeChest, the organization through which we sponsor our amazing child (well, he is really almost a man now) in Adacar, Uganda. It really helped me and gave me permission to take a deep breath and come back to terms with what this season is all about. I am so thankful for all that is going on in my little world right now, and I don’t want to get so caught up in the “Giftmas” of it all, that I completely overlook what it is really all about.
This year, more than ever, I am in complete awe of the fact that at the end of the day, it all came down to a baby…
A great, big God that loved all of us so much that he made himself tiny enough to fit into the womb of a young girl.
A great, big God that cared for all of us too much to let us perish in our own sin, that he became the very flesh that he created, that he conceptually conceived and formed from the dust, so that he could walk a blameless life for 33 years and die a sinner’s death to make it all right.
33 years! I don’t know anyone who has even walked a blameless life for a year! Even my sweet Jack is already at the mercy of his own innately sinful human desires. Yes, even one-year-olds sin. But this baby…
…came to save the world on a Christmas such as this. And we, in our horrible, self-centered lives, turn it into a season of gifts and errands and party obligations where family gossip and drama get passed around faster than the eggnog.
How ashamed we should all feel.
How humbling it is to sit in thoughtful wonder of the weightiness of what took place on that starry night in Bethlehem.
I am so thankful for this Christmas and the wake-up call that carrying a child has brought to me this holiday season. I pray that each one of us can, even if just for a moment, take the time out of the busy schedules we keep during the months of November and December to really remember that baby.
Immanuel. God with us. Jesus.
With love, Malorie